Categories Health & Wellness

As editors, we receive a lot of crazy emails and even crazier pitches, but when one pops into your inbox with a subject line that promises a non-invasive way to contour your body and drop a dress size, you read it. And you respond, “Sure, I’ll come.” Such was the email that found its way to me a couple of weeks ago. The treatment was offered by Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery, which I’ll admit felt a little intimidating because “surgery” is in the office title, but when I asked about downtime and they said there wasn’t any, I decided to forge ahead.

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Above image: Urban Outfitters; Marquee image: Getty Images

The email detailed how this magical slimming would happen, explaining all about the Ballancer Pro, an FDA-approved “space suit” that gets results by stimulating the lymphatic drainage system, leading to weight loss and potentially even a size reduction. One week of treatments every other day could lead to dropping an entire dress size. (It’s also effective for post-surgery patients and serious athletes who need to get rid of lactic acid.) If that weren’t enough to convince me, the email went on to say the Ballancer Pro can also stop cellulite from forming on the hips, thighs, abdomen and butt. I was officially intrigued.

I book an appointment to go one morning before work. When I arrive to the impeccably appointed office, I am ushered into a room in which I get to choose between something that looks like a motorcycle jacket or a gigantic Marshmallow Man suit I would have to crawl into. I am told the suit focuses on the stomach and thighs, two places I certainly wouldn’t mind shrinking, so I opt for that one. I then remove my pants, keep on my sweater and awkwardly make my way into the suit by literally crawling onto the table in front of the doctor, a couple of assistants and the Ballancer Pro expert. Slightly mortified, I settle in and make myself comfortable.

That’s when the assembled group starts to tell me about the contraption, which they assure me is already quite popular in Europe as well as among professional athletes. They explain that the suit will simulate a massage of my lymphatic system. Considering I’m the type of person who wakes up swollen after an evening of sushi or wine, I’m excited to learn that it helps you shed water weight. They tell me it’s perfect for post-drinking and post-flying—two things I do often—as it pushes the fluid up and back into circulation so it leaves the body. They also promise it will make me feel more energized and tone my skin. I’m sold.